Of course, the worst part of it was that getting up in the morning was a chore in itself. One should not get out of breath getting up in the morning. And as my energy levels dropped like a rock, my depression decided to rear its ugly head. I was too tired to even think about doing magic, not alone actually summoning up the energy to attempt to do magic to crawl out of my depression.
For those who are curious, I am on a waiting list--still have a month and three weeks to go, then I get to see a mental health care specialist and hopefully get to take a fistful of happy pills everyday. (I was put on the waiting list two months ago.)
Along with my depression came the thoughts of ending it all, the part that I am going to pound when I finally do see the mental health care specialist (and no, I do not know how to locate the actual word in the dictionary, not alone properly spell it, and for some reason spellcheck is completely off on this particular web browser). My wife says that I did not smile for a month, which sounds about right.
The doctor took me off of the beta blocker on Wednesday, and I still feel like crap...but at least I feel like I am improving and can go for more than ten minutes without having to take a rest. And hopefully, I can keep my energy and mood up long enourgh to see the mental health care specialist, and get a big fistful of happy pills.
And if you would like to light a candle and say a helpful prayer for my mental health, I will gladly accept it. Harmful prayers will be returned to their senders by the automatic wards set around my house.