Saturday, July 22, 2017

Why I support the ACA Obamacare (or Why do you want me dead)

For those who think that I make too big of a deal out of the GOP and Trump wanting to underdo the ACA (Obamacare): I am one of the people who goes back to not having health insurance because of a pre-existing condition where the only insurance I will be able to get will cost me more than I have ever made in the space of a year, with the deductable that is also more than I ever made in a year. So for me, it is automatic game over. But hey, it is what the American people voted for.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

You have survived six months of Trump (someone hold his beer)

Congratulations America--you have survived the first six months of Trump. Only another forty-two months to go...unless 'Murica re-elects him--in which case, just another ninety months to go!!!


Keep binding the damn reality star!
Ignoring the fight over whether it is ok to have poor people dying in the gutter, and the constant chatter over how the Russians elected Trump, what has happened in the last six months?


Let's see...


Consumer and environmental protections have been weakened.


The Department of Education is perfectly ok with for-profit colleges defrauding students.


Trump is making tons of money by renting his properties to the government.


Trump has played a lot of golf.


The swamp of Washington has been restocked with gators of the exact type that Trump said Hillary would put in her administration.


Tax cuts for the rich are coming--I guarantee it.


There was fishing trip looking for three and a half million zombie voters, so that Trump could prove that he won the popular vote.


Trump has continued to whine about the Fake News actually reporting the actual words coming out of his mouth.


Trump is probably going to nuke the Middle East (probably an ally), North Korea and China before nuking all the NATO countries for non-payment of monies that are not actually owed to the USA.


The wall has suffered many design changes--I think is now going to be a solar wall with big windows, so you can see drug dealers catapulting meth into the country. In other words, Mexico is going to give Trump drugs to pay for the wall.


And Trump decided that climate change is a total hoax and that your grandma in Florida can breathe underwater.


Oh, and Twitter--oh those lovely five in the morning tweets.


So basically, we are living in a reality show and the final challenge will be "Are you willing to be a cannibal"?


And you thought that this was going to be fun?!?


Hello! Is this any way to treat your Supreme Leader?


Are you an evil witch or magician having far too much fun and who is sick all the winning? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.



For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 



Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 


2017


July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16



For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Love fresh off the street experts (yes I said that)

In response to someone telling people how wonderful BOTA is (so clear, so precise) and how Golden Dawn is second fiddle, and then revealed that they did not know what the Kabbalistic Cross was, never performed the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram (earlier in the month we learned that they thought they knew the modern Big Name Experts and the modern history of Golden Dawn---but only based on the last three years), I said the following:


I always love those people who are GD experts who have not done a single ritual, a single spell, undergone a single GD initiation, nor read a single book on GD. I especially love it when people listen to them, and ignore totally what people with twenty-five years of GD experience say. The only way it gets better is when people start complaining that GD initiates don't answer questions. Why should we respond to questions when we get told over and over again that we do not understand the system that we have been working with for years and years? If anyone can walk off the street without even knowing the basics of the Golden Dawn system and expound upon it, why should us more experienced folks even bother attempting to answer questions.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

No more custom pottery orders (Khari Wiccan Treasures)

Message from my wife, the potter:


So I am no longer accepting custom orders on my Etsy websites. If you already got your order in and spoke to me, you are fine.


I got swamped with orders and am working on those with about 4 weeks until teachers return to work.


Also, when I say that I am no longer accepting custom orders, this applies to individuals only. This does not include shops or wholesale, although that production will slow down significantly once I return to online classes on August 28th.


Coming soon (about two weeks) to the Wiccan Treasures Etsy shop (Morgan needs to do pictures after his next deadline).


Celtic Soul Pottery and Jewelry


Khari's Wiccan Treasures

Are you a Tarot blogger? Want to Hop with us? (Next topic: Respecting the Tarot)

Do you blog about the Tarot? Do you want to help build community among Tarot bloggers? If so, consider joining the Tarot Blog Hop.

Eight times a year (aligned with the eight Wiccan sabbats--but that is only because it was something that many of us Tarot bloggers knew, so it doesn't have to do anything with the sabbat the Hop lands on), a dozen or more Tarot readers, authors, and experts, blog about one of their favorite subjects--the Tarot.


The Tarot Blog Hop is in its fifth year.
What are the rules?


Members of the Tarot Blog Hop commit to doing two blog hops a year (out of the eight). They link to two neighbors, and create a link chain leading from one blog to another in a big circle. And most importantly, our posts are about a theme that a volunteer wrangler and cat herder came up with.


We organize the Tarot Blog Hop though a Facebook group (you must confirm that you blog about the Tarot before we let you join the group---because that's the purpose of the group).


What type of topics could you be blogging about?


Good question. The next Tarot Blog Hop is being wrangled by me (August 1, 2017), and here is the blogging prompt that I provided to the group:


Our theme for this Tarot Blog Hop is pretty broad--Respecting the divinatory arts, with an emphasis on Tarot.


When I was growing up, I spent some time with my Wiccan aunt. Many of the lessons I learned from her about the occult have affected me and the way I approach things. One of the lessons that I learned was to respect divination systems.


My first lesson in this was in relation to a Magic Eight Ball (as silly of a divination device as you can get). “Respect the Eight Ball, and it will give you accurate answers,” my aunt told me. Over the years, I have learned that she was right about this advice.


As a result, one of the things I teach is “Show respect to the divination systems you are using, even if they are silly systems.”


We all have rules, habits, customs that are our ways of showing respect to our divination tools--things that we do that seem to increase our connection (therefore, our accurancy) with our divination tools.


We also know things to avoid doing--things that seem to annoy our divination tools--things that end up with us saying, “Don’t do that--it upsets the cards.” For instance, my tools gets uppity when someone keeps rewording a question in an attempt to get the answer that they want to hear--snarky answers start to happen, and total silence descends if one does not get the hint that the cards have given all they intend to give you.


So your mission this Tarot Blog Hop is to discuss how you show respect to the Tarot (remember it is called the “Tarot Blog Hop”) and things that you have learned not to do. It can range from smudging the deck periodically to elaborate rituals like the Golden Dawn uses, from not using the cards until the dinner table is clean to well, whatever it is that you do. We all have stories about this subject--if you don’t, you would be the first reader I ever encountered that didn’t have stuff to say on this topic.


[Would you like to take part in the Tarot Blog Hop? If so, come join us on the Facebook group.]

Friday, July 14, 2017

Why the discussion ban on certain occultists (yes I said that on Facebook)

Yes, I said the following on Facebook (about why we don't spend more time warning people about certain dubious occult leaders):

*puts on his "responsible adult hat*

Mod speaking here: The question of why we don't spend more time warning people about certain occultists has came up.

Honestly, the mods hate discussing certain occultists. So do our more advanced experts.

Discussions about them sucks all the oxygen out of the room.

And their defenders (including their current group members) are not going to believe any warning that we issue in the first place. Warning a believer is like talking to a brick wall.

Basically, you have to be stung by the wasp, in order to know not to trust it. In other words, only a metric ton of bad experiences will convince an admirer of theirs that perhaps they should not be leading the parade. 

There is also the issue that certain occultists always demand their right to defend themselves--saying that we should lift the ban on them--and quite honestly they defend themselves by calling all of the rest of us names, and accusing us of belonging to vast non-existent occult conspiracies meant to destroy them and to enslave humanity.

Furthermore, certain occultists' idea of fairness is that no one is allowed to criticize them on any level while they are free to badmouth and insult anyone that they want. Plus, they will insist that we ban everyone that disagrees with any of their ideas or statements. In addition, they insist on posting various conspiracy theories that make us all look insane. Quite frankly, they have their own Facebook groups to do that type of stuff in--we do not need to add to the pollution level of this group.

All this adds up to a big ball of flaming wax that the mods, and the more knowledgeable members of the Golden Dawn community, want nothing to do with.

And that is why the mods only allow the very rare post about certain occultists. Yes, we would like to warn you about them, but we trust that you know how to use Google and can find our public warnings that litter the internet.

Thank you for understanding.

The more you know, the more you think that For-Profit Orders are bad.
This was posted on the following Facebook groups:

Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (not to be confused with DG's trademarked to Sunday group)

Golden Dawn members (group and self-initiates)

Sanctuary of Mau (self-initiation into the Golden Dawn tradition)

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Chaos magicians say VERB Trump and his magical defender

This has been a "I know better than read anything about the bestest ever Golden Dawn leader, ascension coach, and super sexy David Griffin" type of week--and yes, the writing has suffered for it. Yes, I wasted more hours than I am willing to admit to, watching the flaming dumpster fire that erupted after a bit of fair and balanced news reporting on how the valiant and most pure patriotic defender of American freedom, David Griffin, was laying down his life to protect the 45th and final President of the United States, Donald J. Trump.

(I know that it was fair reporting because Griffin, himself, said it was fair and balanced.)

This blog proudly supported by MasterWitch--apply today.
I am not sure exactly where the dumpster fire started. Maybe it was on Watchers of the Dawn. Or maybe it was in Griffin's own comment section. Or maybe it was when people on Facebook said, "Your wife did what? Are both of you sociopaths? Why would you think that it was a good idea to tell us that your [fruit] [verb+ed] your [vegetable]?!?"

Whenever it started, there was plenty of angry commenters.

On one side was those who admire--like--nay, love, that sexy man that lost the popular vote by three and a half million, President Donald J. Trump. Included in this group were those people who think that David Griffin is the greatest occult teacher and leader of all time--because Griffin told them that if you love America, you have to side with his political opinions. 

On the other side were the animal lovers who would sacrifice their own lives for their pets, those who think that President Trump cares about nothing except his ego and funneling millions of government dollars into his family business, and those who think that Griffin might be mentally ill.

So we tossing out the Constitution, so that you and buddies can burn witches...
Ok, maybe Griffin is not mentally ill, but he is still the same [relative] of [canine] that we all learned to know and love during the twenty years of "If I, David Griffin, cannot turn the Golden Dawn into my exclusive cash cow, then I will burn its reputation to the ground, so that no one can have it after I die" tactics.

The first sign I saw that Griffin was going to use this situation to bludgeon his enemies was when he made the following comment to the witches and magicians who seek to BIND (not kill) President Trump, so that Trump does the least amount of harm possible to...well, everyone he considers a loser (basically everyone who makes less than a hundred million a year--which includes 99.99% of the people who voted for him):

"It is really astonishing to me how those out of work, overweight, bottom feeders cowering behind their computers in their daddy's basements, really thought that they could magically attack the American people, depose a President, and destroy democracy in America unopposed.

"Really?!?!

"And you didn't think that there were any Magicians better than your sorry asses who love and defend this country? Think again scumbags!

"If this little Civil War YOU IDIOTS have been magically starting for months actually does go HOT--well--let's just say that there will be nowhere left for you to hide."

[And brace yourself, here's the most disturbing part...]

"We will find you no matter what pit you try to crawl into. We will drag you out of your daddy's basement and into a court of law to be tried by a jury of your peers to be hanged by the neck until dead as the traitors you are."

Ever look at someone and think, "Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?"
At this point, I realized a horrible truth--David Griffin wants to kill witches and magicians who disagree with his political positions.

Forget Freedom of the Press, Freedom of Speech, and Freedom of Religion--if you disagree with Griffin's position of "Trump can do whatever he wants because he is the bloody President," then you are a traitor, and deserve to die.

Please note that the real crime here is that you are a LIBERAL. This is the same man that talked about how gun owners were going to descend upon Washington D.C. and forcibly remove Hillary Clinton from office--and he APPROVED of deposing a President if it turned out to be Hillary Clinton.

He can try to clothe it all he wants as PRINCIPLE--the truth of the matter is that he believes that liberals are all traitors--and he wants to see liberals removed from having the political franchise (no more liberals voting, no more liberals in journalism, no more liberals holding political office).

It is hard to respect a man who has double standards like this.

(It should be noted that I don't see the Magical Resistance trying to start a civil war--for pete's sake--it is a BINDING spell to LIMIT HARM!)

Let me tell you a joke--David Griffin walks into an Order...
Turns out that wasn't the best part.

After watching angry and cynic comments pile up against him, Griffin declared that Nick Farrell, current owner of Watcher of the Dawn, had to be an intelligence agent (a f***ing spy!) because he wasn't censoring the negative comments that people were making about Griffin.

And he went on and on about this for over fifty comments--it was like the good old days of the Golden Dawn flame wars.

For those who did not experience the wonderfulness of Griffin during the flame wars, the game was played like this.

First, Griffin claims to be the most wonderful and understanding person in the world. Plus as an added bonus, he is the most advanced magician and witch to ever walk the face of the Earth. You should be so lucky to have Griffin as your friend and teacher.

Then he plays nice with one of his critics (or business rivals---because like it or not, Griffin wants to make money doing Golden Dawn). When the critic is dumb enough to say, "Nice day, isn't it?" or something else equally non-offensive, Griffin then proceeds to insult and accuse them of selling people into slavery on the behalf of a plot by black magicians hellbent on enslaving humanity, and attacking him--humanity's best hope for spiritual ascension and enlightenment.

To prove that you are not a servant of evil, you must do him a small favor, like admitting that you are the servant of an evil conspiracy to destroy both Griffin and humanity, or giving him complete control of something that you own (like an entire website). Oh, you will still own it, but he will decide what you can do with it. Basically, you have to undermine his critics, crush all negative comments about him, acknowledge him as your superior, and generally kiss his a**.

Having seen this power play more than once, I have drawn some conclusions:

1) Griffin might be delusional, either though mental illness or a drug induced sanity blowout.
2) Griffin has no clue how non-brainwashed people act and respond.
3) Griffin only cares about his wallet and feeding his ego.
4) If I wanted to put up with nonsense like this, I would go visit my mother.

Oh man! Someone thought of the same nasty trick that I did.
But it gets better.

When I read the original post that Farrell reported on, I noticed that amidst the patriotic "I was born before the Vietnam war ended" good solider laying down his life to protect the only chance that 'Murica has to be great again, was the revelation that Griffin and his wife turned themselves into lightning rods, so that the First Family could live free of any restriction and continue to abuse America for their own monetary and egotistical gain.

And the first thought though my mind was: "Hey, that means that I could target both Trump and Griffin at the same time."

Yes, I know--that was an evil thought. After all, they are both so well loved. It is not like anyone would think that they are both rude and self-serving.

Unless they are evil chaos magicians, that is.

Lo and behold, some chaos magicians actually (all on their own, no prompting) came up with the same idea. So this month, around the date of the next Trump Global Binding Ritual (July 21st), you will see pictures not only of Trump being struck by a Blasted Tower sigil, you will also see pictures of Griffin being sigiled up as a lightning rod. These pictures are sure to be obscene because of how chaos magicians typically choose to charge their sigils (if you don't know--don't google it--remain an innocent virgin, unviolated by chaos magic). 

And for me, it is not that I have anything against Griffin and Trump, outside of their need to have no one challenge their fragile egos and atomic vacuum powered wallets--it is more of the principle that if you don't play nice with others, if you are ok with harming others (because they are not good conservatives, or they not "winners!"), that if you look forward tossing out parts of the Constitution, and then killing witches and magicians because they do not believe in the same stuff you do, then you need to be bound so that you can't do any more harm.    

Let the lightning rods do their work to protect someone who might be even worse than Nixon.
Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump, and his loyal magical defender, like hurting people in the name of puffing up their egos and bank accounts? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

[Asterisked * dates are slightly moved from the last quarter crescent moon to occur on significant dates.]

2017

July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Double standard on binding spells (yes, I said that)

A comment I made about Griffin deciding to become a lightning rod to protect President Trump, and the loss of a dog by someone who should have known better than venture out in hundred plus weather for a nature hike:

This so-called “communist leaning” magician and witch can’t help but notice that all the global binding and liberation rituals that Griffin has done over the years have been perfectly ok, but once we started picking on his choice for President, global binding rituals became the tool of assassination and black enslaver magic. I do feel sorry for the dog–if it would have been me, I would have died out in the desert along with my dog–but then again, I am an evil tree-hugging communist witch. By the way, more people voted for Hillary, so I am not so sure that the will of the American people is to be abused by Trump, who only cares about his ego and funneling government money into his businesses. If we actually go by the standard that the President can do whatever he wants, then no one should have gotten upset by what Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon did–but we did–and we all know how Griffin feels about the Clintons. In some weird alternate timeline, the greatest Golden Dawn leader ever is busy running a monthly binding spell to prevent Hillary Clinton from doing more damage to the American people.

[Curious about brought this comment on? You can read the article on Watchers of the Dawn that reported on this incident. And you can read the script to this totally evil spell that the greatest Golden Dawn wizard and his Witch Queen wife consider the greatest act of black magic since Dion Fortune's Order protected Britain from the Nazis.] 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

This blog is ten years old (wave your hands in the air like you don't care)

This blog is ten years old as of today--can you believe it? That's a hundred and twenty months, or 3653 days of my random rants being on public display.

Over the last ten years, I have published 1410 blog posts, annoyed several people, been accused of being a member of a conspiracy comprised of dark magicians hell-bent on destroying the reputation of the most gifted and enlightened occultist ever (because we must continue to enslave humanity), pimped my ebooks,  and shared a godzillion cat pictures--all in the name of fighting of boredom and having a soapbox to yell at people from.

My posts get 319 views on average, and I have about 3749 views a month. And yes, I realize that every other occult blogger in the world has a bigger audience than I do; that's not going to change because I refuse to tell people how spiritually advanced they are, refuse to buy up tons of internet domains all feeding into my blog, and generally find advertising my own stuff a complete and utter bore.

Imagine that I said something witty about cats and money controlling the world.
So what have I learned over the last ten years? Here are ten things I learned...

# 1: I like cats better than I like certain people. And cats are as good of teachers as anyone else's Secret Chief. Every blog post that I write includes me saying, "Don't walk across the keyboard" at some point.

# 2: Stockpile your "nuclear troll" posts. There are a dozen posts that I have written, but have never published because they consist of me saying that the Imperial Pickle is the nastiest occultist I know (though Buddha Night does give them a run for their money). But never fear--if they annoy me, my finger might slip and "accidentally" hit the Publish button.

# 3: Peace is over-rated. And those who believe that you should never read another person's blog, and post your own response declaring them a wheelbarrow short of a garden shed, have no idea how the blogosphere actually works. The blogosphere is just one big argument, flowing from one blog to another.

# 4: Never use white text on a black background. I was one of the first Golden Dawn bloggers to do this (if not the very first) for symbolic reasons. And honestly, if I could go back in time, I would not do it again. Why don't I change it? Because I would have to manually fix all 1410 blog posts--I tried fixing it a couple of times, and ended up with white text on a white background.

# 5: A picture in every blog post is nice for link sharing purposes. I don't follow this rule as religiously as I should.

# 6: You can't please everyone, but you can easily piss everyone off. Every blog post I have written has been misread by someone.

# 7: Hiving off topics into other specialty blogs does not work for me--because I do not have the patience to build up another blog. That's why I talk about anything I want to on this blog, even if it has nothing to do with magic and witchcraft.

# 8: Everyone knows more than I do...because they have told me so. This includes the guy at the doughnut shop, who has never opened up an occult book in his entire life.

# 9: I am the class clown, the court jester, the Forest Gump of occultism. Or so I have been told repeatedly. In other words, people think that their opinions, beliefs, and practices are better than mine (absolutely correct, like Ten Commandment level of correctness)---and they really, really do not like people treating the subject of the occult with anything less than 200% seriousness. In other words, they think that I tell too many jokes.

# 10: I still like blogging, so I going to ignore all of your requests for me to quit blogging. Obviously, blogging is one of my guilty pleasures because everyone knows that occult blogging does not pay.

Just some of my stats for this blog--and yes, I know that your blog stats are better than mine.

Monday, July 3, 2017

My most disliked video (Happy Fourth of July 'Merica)

Last year on the Fourth of July, I filmed a bit about binding the evil Donald Trump. The video came about because I was already talking about how this man was going to be a Presidential train wreck--please remember that I was one of the few bloggers that thought that he was going to be elected--and had already starting kicking around the idea that the only way that we could avoid him from doing major harm was a binding spell (or some very loud protests and the other parts of the government telling him, NO!!!).

This was the subject of several conversations, with each one becoming more silly from my end because I thought that it would be a marvelous bit of witty and entertaining political satire. One of my friends offered to film it....probably so I would shut up about the idea.

So on the Fourth of July last year, I did the most American thing that you can do--complain about a politician that I hated. On film. And then I posted it on YouTube because my wife won't let me keep a printing press in the living room. Welcome to the modern Liberty Tree.

I know that some are horrified that I choose a modern social media platform to make jokes about politics. Many of the horrified applaud President Trump use of Twitter to post jokes about how he would like to slam news reporters to the ground. Can you say Double Standard? I knew you could.

It is ok for "conservatives" to say whatever they want, but heaven a liberal speaks their mind.
After we filmed the bit, I posted it...because I could (freedom of speech and the freedom of the press!). A few crickets watched it. A couple of humans down-thumbed it and left what I assume was supposed to be witty comments. Then we all forgot it because it was obviously political satire written and performed by a Wiccan in Golden Dawn.

Even after Trump won, proving a prediction that I made two Presidential election cycles before true, I assumed that the Bind Trump bit would remain unwatched forever. And then Trump the President started to act exactly like Trump the Reality TV Star, something else I predicted.

At a certain point, some witches and magicians came up with the idea of binding Trump. I was so not involved--despite the video evidence--mainly because I was too busy huddling in a corner with one of my cats waiting for the first flash of nuclear weapons being launched. (If Trump is not the President that nukes us all back to the Stone Age, then America's first female President, Sarah Palin will--either way, we are all going to glow in the dark.)

I was at the local occult store when a friend walked up and asked me if I heard about the global binding ritual that was being planned. I said, no--they sent me a link.

The very next day, someone blogged about the ritual (not me!)--and suddenly, my forgotten comedy bit was resurrected on YouTube, complete with more dislikes and negative comments.

Now, there are some who feel that I should listen to the negative comments and take my video down...I assume that they are Trump fans who can't handle the idea that someone may actually loathe their favorite politician. Instead, it amuses me to realize that this comedic bit is my most disliked (thumbed down) video on YouTube.

How disliked?

Well, for a video that only accounts for less than a tenth of my views (8% if you are curious), fourth most watched (thanks to those looking for videos about the global binding ritual), third in overall watch time, and my eighth best earner, it is amazing that it accounts for almost fifty percent of my overall dislikes on YouTube.

And it is not just Americans who dislike it, citizens from Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Indonesia, Latvia, and Norway also dislike it. Norway? Really, Norway? What do you know--I am an internationally disliked political comedian.
But never fear USA--you are still number one in disliking it.
You know you have a hit when your level of dislikes is this disproportional to the number of views. 
Now, I know that there are some critics of mine who believe that I should not be this amused by dislikes and negative comments. These critics forget that I wanted to be a newspaper columnist in the humor/political section. Dislikes and poison ink letters are just part of the trade. Of course, I assume that the real reason that they dislike the video is that Trump talk of getting rid of all the colored people, having all the poor people die from the lack of healthcare, and all those sweet, sweet tax breaks for the filthy rich, gives them a woody--it is either that or they rolled a critical IQ failure.

If you are not a member of the one percenters [1%], and you still think that the Trump's presidency is going to improve your life, you need to get checked out for brain damage. Either that, or you are a bigot who is turned on by his and your own bigotry. Nothing that his administration has done bodes well for the poor of any color, including white people. So you can rage all you like about me being unfair to Trump, and I am not going to change my mind any more than you are going to.

And now for your viewing displeasure, my most disliked video. Keep the negative comments coming!


Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is going to turn us all into radioactive clouds of orange cheeto dust? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

2017

July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

July Open Full Moon ritual blurb (new location for Hearthstone)

On July 7 2017, the July Open Full Moon ritual “Story time in Ancient Egypt” will be presented by Hearthstone’s board member, Morgan Drake Eckstein. With the help of volunteers, Morgan will tell us three stories set in Ancient Egypt, as well as talking about some interesting facts about the Egyptian civilization. Come join us as we sail down the Nile.

Reminder that this OFM ritual is happening at Hearthstone Community Church's new location:

Althea Center
1400 Williams St., Denver, CO 80218

Hearthstone will be meeting at the Althea Center for the reminder of 2017.

As usual, the doors will open at 7:00 p.m., with announcements starting at 7:30 p.m., and the ritual starting thereafter. Free to attend, but we recommend that you chip in a couple of dollars when the Church passes the hat to help offset the rental cost.

Smashwords July ebook sale (50% off select books)

It is time for Smashwords biannual ebook sale.

The following of my books are available on Smashwords for a discount during the sale (July 1 to July 31).

Rite of the Magical Images of the Wiccan Wheel of the Year--A Golden Dawn Inspired Ritual (50% off--$1.50 USD): A ritual that was originally presented as an Open Full Moon ritual in Denver for the Hearthstone Community Church community, which was the first public showing of a set of eight magical images for the Wiccan sabbats.

Witchy Rants (50% off--$1.50 USD): An omnibus collection of the first four years of articles that I wrote for the Hearthstone Community Church newsletter. Highlights include insights on how occult and pagan leaders should act, how much astrology a witch should know, and why Golden Dawn studies matter to Wiccans.

Golden Dawn Rituals Volume One: Neophyte Ritual--Three Officer Version (75% off--$1.50 USD): A modified version of the Golden Dawn Neophyte (0=0) ritual for lodges who have a difficult time assembling the full set of eleven officers that traditional Golden Dawn ritual requires. This version divides the speeches and actions of the traditional officers among only three officers (Hegemon, Hiereus, and Hierophant), allowing a lodge that has an officer shortage to still accomplish the most important job of a Golden Dawn lodge--performing the actual lodge rituals to initiate members into the tradition.

Shakespeare's Monkey (50% off--$0.99 USD): A collection of short stories and poems written during my time at the Community College of Denver. My favorite of the collection is Eye of the Storm, a story about how a stolen laptop leads to madness, and threatens to unleash a long forgotten eldritch force upon the world.

Five Reasons Why Magic Fails (50% off--$1.50 USD): An extended essay talking about some of the reasons that magic spells fail to manifest results in the physical world, and how the inaction of the magician can result in a spell fizzling out.

In addition, back issues of the Denver Witch Quarterly are on sale (50% off--$1.50 each):

DWQ (Beltane/Lithna 2017)--Occult Writers and Payment & Witches Bind Trump: In this issue, we discuss whether occult writers should be allowed to make a profit from their writing, or if they should be required to give all their occult writing away for free to benefit the occult community. We also take a look at the global binding spell of President Donald J. Trump, and whether it is ethical. Contributors include myself (Morgan Drake Eckstein), Shea Herlihy-Abba, Scott Michael Stenwick, Jame Bull, Jonathan Barlow Gee, Lee Anderson, moon Gazer, A. J. Hallows, and Misha Sparks.

DWQ (Imbolc/Ostara 2017)--Wealth and the Lucky Witch: In this issue, we explore money, wealth, luck, and prosperity, and the magic necessary to obtain such. Plus editorials, poetry and fiction by A. J. Hallows, Broom Hill Crow, Erin Lale, and Shea Herlihy-Abba.

DWQ (Samhain/Yule 2016)--To Curse, Or Not to Curse (The Big Cursing Issue): In this issue, we explored the techniques and ethics of cursing and hexing. From the mass hexing of convicted rapist, swimmer Brock Turner, to the global bindings of ISIL, to revenge spells--cursing, hexing, and bindings are part of the toolbox of magicians and witches worldwide. Are public hexings merely exercising one's First Amendment rights? Or are curses actually effective enough to restrict the actions of individuals and organizations? Also included in this issue: Heavenly Watchers--using the Four Royal Stars (Aldebaran, Regulus, Antares, and Fomahault) and Sirius in astrology and magic.

Also available: Denver Witch Quarterly (Prospectus)--A Modest Magical Magazine Proposal (100% off--FREE!): In this first issue of the DWQ, I talked about my involvement with the small press Wiccan and pagan magazines of the 1990s, which inspired the creation of the Quarterly. I also provided information about the business practices, editing and payment policies of the Denver Witch Quarterly for potential contributors.

Besides these fine books, there is also a satiric piece on the Necronomicon: Light Out of Darkness--Lux E Tenebris (Thelema and the Necronomicon) at a 75% discount ($1.25 USD) by Gaius Corbin published by Salt Mine Publications (my own "publishing house"). Building upon the Simon (Avon) Necronomicon, this book claims that Aleister Crowley and the Golden Dawn had access to a more complete set of the fifty names of Marduk (actually fifty-one names) than the famed Lovecraftian authority, Simon Knight, did. If it was true, it would cast the early days of the famed esoteric Order, the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, in a completely different light. Fortunately, we know that the Necronomicon is not a real book, and that all who believe in it are just fools and lunatics--and that no one in the Golden Dawn tradition has ever worked with the Cthulhu Mythos--and any evidence to the contrary should be burned at the next lodge BBQ's book-burning party and orgy. 

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Trump surprise (no no I dont want a surprise)

Some words that I never-ever want to hear coming out of the mouth of a politician:

"We are going to have a great, great surprise..."

No, no, no.

I am a German-Jew by ancestry, a magician and heretic by profession, and a witch by religious choice--and the words "great, great surprise" has never turned out well for any of my people. 

Think about it--German-Jew plus big surprise equals...oh yeah, seizure of property, stripping of citizenship rights, labor camps, starvation diets, and death by poison gas followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was a wonderful surprise for everyone who thought that the Jews and the Freemasons were the cause of Germany's economic problems, but it was hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted to have if you were a Jew.

(Hey, I am a German-Jew--I am allowed to make holocaust jokes.)  

Magician and heretic and big surprise equals...outlawing of one's writing by the Church, surprise visits by the Spanish Inquisition,  house arrests, marshmallows roasted over bonfires of humans going straight to hell, painful torture and death followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was wonderful surprise for those who believed that the Church was the only path to salvation and that those who thought differently were traitors to humanity, but it was hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted if you were a magician and heretic.

(Hey, I am a magician and a heretic--of course, I am going to make jokes about the Inquisition; it is what heretical magicians do.)

Witch and big surprise equals...outlawing of one's very existence by the powers that be, kings screaming that witches are trying to hex him to death, big cash rewards for every convicted witch, full prisons, less crazy cat ladies, and a boom for the kindling businesses, painful torture and fiery death followed by an unmarked grave. Yes, it was a wonderful surprise for those who did not want to be turned into frogs, but it was a hardly a birthday surprise that you wanted to have if you were a witch.

(Hey, I am a witch--the Big Book of Shadows say that witch hunts are not funny, but when has I allowed the political correct crowd keep me from making a bad joke?)

So hearing the 45th and final President of the United States say that we are going to have a "great, great surprise" sends a shiver down my back.

What could he possibly do with his magic pen (a pen that he screamed Obama should not have been using) that is going to fix the latest issue...which is...oh yeah--healthcare--what can he possibly do to fix the healthcare and health insurance markets?

Do away with the subsidies that support Obamacare? Which would kill Obamacare, but do nothing else--it will not fix the problem that poor sick can't afford insurance.

Declare that only losers can't afford health insurance and sky high deductibles? Which would be totally ignored by the people who voted for him because they are reality challenged.

Make a replacement law all by himself? Which actually violates the Constitution's division of powers--but who cares? The only parts of the Constitution that his supporters care about are their right to bear arms and their religious right to believe that all non-Christians and Biblical law violators should be burned at the stake.

Outlaw liberals who are the real reason that Republican healthcare reform is not passing? Hello, mass arrests, journalists shot, liberals killed in the streets, death and unmarked graves for all.

What could he possibly do here that would actually be helpful in fixing the healthcare and health insurance crisis? Outlaw sick people? Declare that death and sickness are a Chinese hoax designed to cripple the US economy? Blame Obama?

Now, there will be those who hate me for writing this stuff, saying that Trump is not an evil man, and that only losers can't afford healthcare.

By the way, I was one of the "losers" working more than forty hours a week, managing a restaurant, who had a choice between paying for health insurance that I could not use because the deductible was more than I made in a year; or dropping my useless health insurance, so that I could afford to pay my rent. Not to mention coming from a poor family (with eight kids because birth control was a tool of the devil), who also could not afford health insurance and health care either.

Do you really think I wanted to be an untreated bipolar on the verge of suicide or murdering people with an ax?

No, I can't imagine anything good for people like me coming out of a "great, great surprise" sprung by our reality star of a President.

As always, feel free to scream that I need to be burned at the stake for not believing that God, himself, picked Trump as our President, and that the real problem in America are people who think as I do.

And it is a bigly magic pen, the best bigly magic pen ever.
Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is going to use his magic pen to outlaw everyone who disagrees with him? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

2017

July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Yin Yang Peppermint Patty (Tarot Blog Hop)

Previous/ MasterList/ Next

Welcome to the June Tarot Blog Hop. For the theme of this hop, Aisling, our fearless wrangler, pointed out that just as the Oak King, Cernunnos (the Green Man), god of planting and the Waxing half of the year, is part of his opposite, Lugh, the Holly King (the Red God), god of harvest and the Waning part of the year, both being halves of a whole, so too are each of us comprised of two halves, a light and a dark.

Aisling wrote, "It is important in the understanding of this Lore to realize that the two Deities here represented are actually seen as one God, two Faces of the same Being, two aspects of life, and actually perform the combat between Oak and Holly as a necessary adaptation of their own Being, with the full understanding of the necessity of both a waxing and a waning year, planting and harvesting, and the joy of creation connected with the necessity of using that creation."

Likewise, she noted that it is important for us to understand the duality of our own natures.

Yang Yin Tarot Spread TBH June 2017.
Towards developing an understanding of this duality, she instructed us to pick a card to represent ourselves, our fundamental nature--our being. Then we were to choose a card that represented its "cognate opposite"--"the yin to our chosen yang." After that, we were to draw five cards at random, to represent the elemental energies in our lives, and to examine how the light and dark of our natures interacted with these forces.


Deck used: The Secret Tarots--Marco Nizzoli (Lo Scarabeo 1998).
Picking the Yang card was actually hard for me, mainly because I was faced with so many tasty options. Literally, I quoted Jeff from the cult TV show, Chuck--"How can I make up my mind when I have so many tasty options? I got so many tasty options..." which probably says that I need a more nerdy Tarot deck than the one that I am using.

I have always found it easier to see the darkness in myself than the light. Think of me as a Yin Yang Peppermint Patty--the dark is all visible with the light part all hidden away. For those who are curious, "Yin Yang Peppermint Patty" is a saying that I learned from my Gardnerian Wiccan aunt--it was the first thing that went though my mind when I read the theme of this Tarot Blog Hop.

The ease that I have in seeing the darkness in myself explains so many of my magical mottos--most of which can be summed up as "If I am a villain condemned to hell, I just as well have some fun on my way there."

Part of my problem with picking a Yang card is spiritual pride. For instance, I would love to be able to choose the Magician card as my Significator--after all, I am an occultist involved in using magic for spiritual development. But realistically, I am probably more of the Devil than the Magician, for as a ceremonial magician, I tend to beat on the universe with a large stick until it does what I want it to. This is a perfect illustration of a magician having a large ego--my only saving grace is that I know that I lean towards black magic, and can't be bothered to claim otherwise.

Sadly, I am just like Jeffrey Barnes from the cult TV show, Chuck.
In the end, I went with the card from my favorite Tarot deck that everyone associates with me: Four of Pentacles. In this particular Tarot deck, The Secret Tarots (Marco Nizzoli), the Four of Pentacles is represented by a man sitting next to a desk with an orb lamp, ink bottles, paper and a book--in other words, I think he might be a writer. (Or I could be wrong, and he could be the miser of the Waite/Smith/Rider deck--in which case, I grew up in a poor family and being cheap is a virtue--or so, my mother believed.) Ironically, in my mind, writers are magicians--this is just a more realistic version of a magician. And as my regular readers know, I fancy myself as a writer.

When I read the theme for this hop, I instantly knew what my Yin card was--the Eight of Swords. And I do mean that I knew instantly--there was no need to think about it any further. Like my Yin card, this is a more realistic version of a Major Arcana for me--yes, I can see the Devil in this card. In my case, my darkness is a mental state created out of being bipolar, being raised in a bipolar family, and being expected to sacrifice myself in the best interests of everyone else, and to only do things that made the rest of family (well, my mother) look good.

Or as I like to joke, the voices in my head can get really loud. "Will this project make money? Shouldn't you go back to flipping burgers--you would make more. Ain't you full of sinful pride? You are a lousy writer. It is your sister who is the real writer. What would Mom [and the rest of the family] think if this project became successful? Oh, the shame you are going to cause--the family is going to disown you." Basically, I am a prisoner in my own mental hell constructed by an unstable selfish bipolar mother.

How unstable and selfish was my mother? Oh, just the normal "Babysitting your siblings is more important than your homework" and "Oh, I am having a bad day, so let me throw you down the stairs" and "Oh, he doesn't visit me because he ended up in prison" and "Oh, you are a Wiccan...well, I am going to try to get you committed to a mental ward for being a Satanist." Never mind that I never served a day of jail time, and that I successfully managed a restaurant for ten years, and completely ignore any kind act you have seen me do. Is it any wonder that I can see my darkness much better than my light?

Moving along to the rest of the cards...

The Spirit (Wisdom) card I pulled was the Seven of Pentacles, a man looking at a growing tree. In my head, I have all these perfect plot ideas...which I tend to give up on before I am even remotely done with a project. Pat Zalewski (or was it his wife, Chris) said of this card that it sometimes indicates "There is a strong need to be financially secure to offset a deep emotional need for security" and that is really part of my Stop and Go problem as a writer. I can quickly get off the rails, and start project hopping (finishing nothing) when monetary shortfalls crop up--all in the hope of finding that golden money making project.

The Fire (Will) card I pulled was the Ten of Pentacles, a couple sitting outside of a house in one of those historical "take my picture and see how much wealth I have" poses. Having studied the habits of successful writers, I know that it is possible to make a comfortable living writing provided that one works hard and finishes projects. But there is that little voice saying that I should be doing something else and to quit wasting my time as a writer. One of the esoteric teachings about this card is that in order to accomplish the pinnacle of success, one needs to have the upper and lower worlds working in harmony. Interestingly enough, one of my current project ideas involves a lot of expensive research, and I mean a lot of research--yet I think that it would be a mighty fun project to write which would end up with loyal fans. Now if I could only get the voices in my head to shut up long enough to actually finish the research and the writing...

The Water (Intuition) card I pulled was the Lightning Struck Tower. On one hand, I hope to be a successful writer; on the other hand, I fear becoming a successful writer. Basically, I have some fear of being successful. While my mom died two years ago, I still think that some of my family will blow a gasket if I actually do become successful. And let's be honest, all writers end up with a horde of haters. On top of that, I would have no idea what to do with actual money, if I somehow ended up being one of those writers. Fortunately, as the voices say, I am a little delusional and can ignore the possibility of becoming successful.

The Air (Mind) card I pulled was the King of Pentacles. This is an one day at a time card--just keeping moving forward. The writer in me knows that writing projects take time to complete--there is research, rough drafts, beta readers, editing, etc. to do. And the crazy voices say, "Just one more day--then tomorrow you will give up and go do something else with your life, and everyone will be happy that you finally woke up to your senses."

The Earth (Action) card I pulled was the Four of Wands. This card reminds me of my wife. And to be honest, it is her income that is allowing me to stay at the table and continue to write. She is also the person who described to my doctor in horrific details the way that I was acting as an untreated bipolar--without her description, I would not be on the meds that I am currently taking. In addition, there is a "take joy in life" aspect to this card--"nothing ventured, nothing gained" says the writer; "have fun while you can" says the voices of doom and despair.

And so we reach the end of a reading that I am quite sure makes me sound like a loser, who is just one prize away from a Cracker Jack box. I would like to think that my display of public insanity makes you feel much, much better about yourself--or at least grateful that you are not me. And if not, just smile and say, "Yin Yang Peppermint Patty" to the next ten people you meet because that always cheers me up.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Father of Gump (what would my father think of me)

One of the things that I think about occasionally is what my father would have thought about how my life turned out.

For those who don't know: My father died in a semi-trailer accident in 1984, at the age of forty-two. He died while I was in Army boot camp. His death is the official reason that the US Army and I parted paths--because the Army thought that I was needed more back home (I am the oldest of eight kids). That idea did not pan out because my mom did not want me to return home (she was worried that I would affect her survivor benefits from Social Security)--which is probably a good thing considering how "evil" my life turned out to be (to her dying day, my mother would call me a Satanist...which I am not).

So basically, my father never saw any of my adult life.

Sometimes I believe that I would have been more successful if he would have lived longer. He was always the encouraging one. But I will admit that occasionally, he was ignorant of what direction I was headed. For instance, he was unaware of my desire to be a writer clear up to the end of my senior year in high school.

So I would like to believe that I would quit working food service sooner, that I would have went to college sooner, that I would have gotten treatment for my bipolar sooner, and that I would be more successful in my writing career--because of his encouragement.

Or maybe one of my sisters is right, and he would have completely disapproved of my life, and thought that I needed to taken down a peg or two.

Who f***ing knows.

What I do know is that he affected my politics, my approach to community service, my philosophy,  and how I tell stories.

I spent a lot of time with my father on various jobs. We remodeled houses together, worked on construction sites together (once spent the entire summer camping out on one job site out in the woods of Albert County), took me along to deliver produce to various customers (he actually was training me to take over the family produce company*), introduced me to farming and to the hobby of gardening. He also made sure that I was surrounded by books, and he tutored me and my sister to count change in our heads.

[*My sister likes to point out that the only reason that he was training me was that she wasn't old enough yet, and that he meant for her to take over the family business...which ironically, would have been totally acceptable to me--because I actually wanted to be a writer. This sister also points out that my writing totally s***s and that I will never be successful doing it as a career--she might have a point, but I am a crazy person and generally ignore her advice on that front.]

My father was the first comedian and story teller that I knew. In all fairness, many of his jokes were about Polish people....and I know that it is wrong that they still bring a smile to my face. And he told the same jokes over and over again--because each new job site or customer was a brand new audience. As a result of this, my first lessons in writing and revision came from my father.

We used to listen to talk show radio a lot. And he would argue back at the radio, "Well, that is not going to work out..." Plus him and Mom once campaigned for a candidate running for District Attorney here in Denver. So my getting up on a soapbox and sharing my political opinions would not have been foreign to him. And the rate I upset people, not a surprise at all--he often remarked that I would have been shot by the age of ten if I would have been born in Russia.

(He might have been surprised that I am still registered as a Republican--my mom insisted that all her kids had to be Republicans--hell, she would have demanded that I voted for Trump...except that her threat of disowning me for voting for the wrong person would have carried no weight because I was already disowned for being a Satanic witch.)

My interest in magic and the occult definitely would not have been a surprise--after all, he also sat at the table talking about Wicca and witchcraft with my aunt. He might have been surprised that I ended up in the pagan clergy category--or maybe not. After all, he had a touch of ESP (predicted the unification of Germany at a time that no one thought that it was possible).

I tend to think about him when I am gardening. Dad was the one who taught me how to compost, and stuff like that. He grew vegetables--which given that there was eight of his kids, and we were poor, made a lot of sense. I am not sure what he would have thought of my growing herbs, but I am sure that he would have understood my point that herbs are damn expensive at the store.

My deepest regret is that he never read any of my writing. When he was alive, I had to conceal my writing habit from my mom, who believed that writing was a sin. I was good at hiding what I was really up to. I especially regret that he did not live long enough to meet my wife, and read what I am currently working on--in fact, one of the characters in my Ancient Egyptian stories is partially based on him.

Still what can you do? Just fondly remember the man, and hope that he would have approved of where i am headed with my work. Happy Father's Day Dad--I miss you.

Happy Father's Day!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Violence is not the answer (lets not open up that Pandora box)

A periodical conversation that has been occurring since the election:

Other person: I think that someone is going to assassinate Trump, and that would solve the problem.

Me: No, no, no!

It may surprise some to hear that I don't want President Trump assassinated or shot. Nor do I want to see other politicians shot. The outcome of such tactics would be disastrous. Imagine the backlash from trying to solve this problem with violence--it would just open the door to rounding suspects up and possibly open the door to South African style politics.

I don't want to see anything that might lead to Trump's (or Pence's) political power being enhanced by the use of police forces. I don't want to see Trump supporters screaming that liberals are violent traitors and need to be arrested, locked up, and even shot dead in the head. And I definitely do not want Trump to have an excuse to start jailing his political enemies, nor do I want his supporters to have an excuse to start killing those people who oppose Trump's (and their) political agenda.

Let me be clear: Once you start down that path--the American experiment of free and open elections ceases to exist.

No, the proper cause of action is to let Trump actually do some of the stuff he wants to do. People voted for him for a reason. And they need to see that his set of solutions will not make them safer, will not get them better healthcare, and will not bring back their old jobs. Maybe then they will be willing to elect a government that can actually fix these problems.

Trump dying prematurely will just turn him into a Republican saint. And we already have one of those--Ronald Reagan--who is invoked every time that the Republicans decide that only the rich count in this country. We do not need a Republican saint that can be invoked every time a Christian decides that shooting a journalist, a liberal, or a minority is what should happen.

No, let this man do his job the way he thinks that it should be done.

And let's watch his own party slowly come to terms with the fact that it is political suicide to let him get his way. And the Democrats realize why they actually lost (because they refused to talk about the lack of jobs in certain parts of the country).

(Please note that I do not believe that his hardcore supporters will ever change their minds. My mom is one of these people. I have spent thirty-five years trying to convince her that I am not a Satanist, that writing is not a sin, and that minorities are not the spawn of the devil. I don't expect his most loyal supporters to be anymore capable of seeing the light than she is.)

Let's us hope and pray that Trump is slowed down enough to keep the worst of his ideas from becoming law, and that if he is guilty of some high crime that he is impeached--furthermore, let's hope that the Republicans (especially Mike Pence) have realized that their ideas are placing their party's future on thin ice.

Let the system work the way it is supposed to.

And yes, I am still evil, and think that magic can help this along. But I do know that there will be those screaming that witchcraft is even worse--and what else is new?

Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump should be impeached--or at least, slowed down? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

[Asterisked * dates are slightly moved from the last quarter crescent moon to occur on significant dates.]

2017

February 24; March 26; April 24; May 23; *June 21* (*Summer Solstice*); July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

What is High Magic?

Recently someone asked me to clarify what High Magic was. After some muttering, and lots of talking to my cat, I wrote an answer--here is the best, non-snarky part of my answer. And yes, this is why I am not allowed to have students.


“High Magic” is a fancy term for the magic developed by medieval magicians who could read and write. Likewise, “Low Magic” is the magic that those who could not read used. The “High” and “Low” labels are based on…something. One theory is that Low Magic was developed in the low lands where the farmers lived, and High Magic was developed on higher ground. Another theory is that High Magic deals with achieving union with the divine, and Low Magic deals with lowly things like money. High Magic tends to be ceremonial and can takes hours or days, and Low Magic tends to be more spur-of-the-moment freeform “What do I have on hand, and can I do this spell under a half hour?”


I resisted the urge to make a Colorado magic joke...but for just for you, I will.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Keep calm and carry a beer (Saluting the British)

You can tell a lot about a country's psyche by how they react in a crisis.


And I have to admit that I love the British. (And the Aussies--I also love the Aussies.)


One of the iconic images out of yesterday's terrorism attack on London Bridge was a guy carrying a beer as he walked to safety. Brits--I salute you.


Keep calm and carry a beer.
And in the meantime, there are those in the United States screaming that this is why we need a Muslim ban, more guns, and to kick all the immigrants and colored people out of the country. Plus we have a Cheeto screaming that the mayor of London was far too calm when he pointed out that citizens were going to see more police on the street. Obviously, the soul of America is actually quite insecure and paranoid, and has a major fetish for guns.


(By the way, the reason that the Islamic State [aka ISIS, aka ISIL, aka the bastards that want to see all the "Crusaders" dead] asked for their agents to use trucks and knives was that there are a shortage of guns in Britain. If more guns were available, the terrorists would have used them...and the number of dead would have been in the double digits. Maybe, there is something to be said about not having every Tom, Dick and Harry armed with assault rifles.)


Of course, the British attitude towards all this is totally unacceptable. Just like the statement that London Mayor Sadiq Khan (oh my God, how could you elect a Muslim?!? screams the American patriot) made awhile back:


"Part and parcel of living in a great global city [like London] is you've got to be vigilant, you've got to support the police doing an incredibly hard job. That means being vigilant, having a police force that is in touch with communities, it means security services being ready, but it also means exchanging ideas and best practice."


Oh my god, not once did he mention the average Betty and Barney carrying a gun. Not once did he ask for a Muslim ban. Not once did he asked for a yugly big fence. And your average American patriot is going to claim this is why they suffer much more terrorism than we do in the United States.


And remember that only Radical Islamic Terrorism counts as terrorism--just ignore every wacked out White American Christian that shots a lot of people in public.


(Oh, the only thing I dislike so far about the English reaction is that their Prime Minister is now calling for the internet to be policed, so that terrorists are not able to put out action calls. This, at least, will be embraced by every gun nut in the United States who believe that liberals and bloggers like myself are terrorists and should be allowed to post our opinions. The Cheeto-in-Chief is totally going to call for a yugly big wall around the internet as soon as he hears about that idea.)



Friday, June 2, 2017

Trump says coal mining more important than golf courses

The last American President, Donald "Jesus is coming to save us!" Trump today declared that coal mining jobs were more important than golf courses.

Or at least that is what I imagine future historians are going to say about his decision to end American involvement in combating global warming.

After all, his justification is that the coal miners in Pittsburgh need jobs and that the Paris Agreement forbid such jobs.

Seriously, I have no idea why Trump said that he represented the voters of Pittsburgh while talking about coal mining jobs--maybe he thinks that Pittsburgh factories created coal--or something. Or that the factories in Pittsburgh pollute as badly as burning coal. Or use tons of coal. Or some logic beyond me.

Or maybe Trump is just an idiot who believes that global warming is a Chinese hoax designed to cripple American industry--kind of like minimum wage laws and occupational safety rules and all those other regulations that prevent lard being sold as pure butter.

Trump does not care about the environment; he only cares about making himself richer...and somehow environmental regulations are preventing this from happening. It is not like Trump has any property that is going to be underwater if all the ice melts.

Oh, look at all the places that go underwater in an ice free world.
Oh...wait.
Uh--if I go by this map, Trump really hates owning property that is not underwater.
But never mind what these maps seem to say because Trump is a genius guided by the Secret Chiefs of the greatest esoteric Order ever, protected by Adepts who love him more than they love money. If you don't believe me, watch who runs to defend his decision and who loudly expounds upon the fact that Alex Jones totally supports Trump's idea that global warming is a hoax.

And it will probably happen in my comment section.

Are you an evil witch or magician who thinks that Trump is trying to drown us all? Consider taking part in the global monthly waning crescent moon ritual to bind the actions of President Donald J. Trump.

For full text of Global Binding Ritual of Trump, click here. 

Dates for future Global Bind Donald J. Trump rituals 

[Asterisked * dates are slightly moved from the last quarter crescent moon to occur on significant dates.]

2017

February 24; March 26; April 24; May 23; *June 21* (*Summer Solstice*); July 21; August 19; September 18; October 17; November 16; December 16

For a full list of future Bind Trump dates, click here.

A magical sigil being used by some to bind Trump.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

My top ten blog posts for May 2017

It is the end of the month and it is time for me to look at the top ten blog posts for the month...because I am a blogger, and wonder exactly what blog posts my readers are reading.


But first, an honorable mention--my Tarot Blog Hop post for May, which based on pure numbers actually should be in the top ten--but Blogger seems to weigh older posts heavier (for reasons that are beyond my understanding). The Tarot Blog Hop was about combining divinatory systems, but I spent more time talking about my fiery Mercury. [Mix and match divination]


Coming is at number ten is a post about a child shooting his own mother...which gun freedom nuts are perfectly ok with--because Guns are Great!!! [Child terrorists shoots his own mother]


Number nine is occupied by my post about how the global bind Donald Trump ritual was affecting the views of my July Fourth 2016 video talking about binding Donald Trump. That's right, I was binding Donald Trump before it became the cool "satanic" and witchy thing to do. [Why the spike in video views?]


Number eight was the ritual script for the global witchcraft binding ritual of President Donald Trump and all his little pals. It is so sad that Trump didn't get better ratings. Help him get better views by screaming at people that witchcraft is evil. [Global binding ritual of Trump]


Number seven was an advertisement for my wife's mortar and pestles. Yes, it was an advert, but it still counts as being a popular blog post. [New mortar and pestles available on Etsy]


Number six was my Earth Day post reminding people not to toss old hoses into the recycling bin, and not to use the brains of dubious occult leaders when they design new esoteric systems. [Do not recycle the Abby Normal brain]


And roaring into number five is Trump! That's right--not happy with just two slots on this hit parade, President Trump grabs a third as I talk about what Trump accomplished in his first hundred days in office, and what my mom thought he was going to accomplish--oh, the bitter disappointment. [Congrats! You survived the first hundred days of Trump]


And not happy with just three slots, Trump strikes again, taking spot number four by doing something totally legit and awesome--firing the director of the FBI. Yes, nothing to see there--move along. [Trump restores confidence in the FBI]


But just when you thought that occult news could not trend and get readers, an old post (two and a half years old) about the arrest of the Living God, E.A. Koetting grabs number three. Honestly, this post performs month after month, just proving that some people do actually use Google to check out occult authorities and personalities. Let's give a big round of applause to the Living God for continuing to generate traffic. [Thoughts on the arrest of E.A. Koetting]


And just when you thought that we were done with Trump, he inspires a post about how his treatment of secrecy and his midnight rage tweets reminds me of all the good times we have had with dubious occult teachers and leaders using the concept of secrecy to cover their asses and the their revealing of others' dirty laundry to destroy their enemies. Go Trump! Or is this more about dubious occult leaders? Go Great Gherkin and Jimmie Bob Beggains! Either way, it is our number two for the month of May. [Secrets declassified--the Golden Dawn edition]


So who is going to grab post number one of the month? Is it going to be some random post talking about nonsense? Maybe an occult lore piece? Can the dubious occult leaders win the day? Or will it be the last President of the United States?


And the answer found in an old mayo jar sitting on the help desk of Blogger is...


Dubious occult leaders!!!


Yes, in a surprise win, dubious occult leaders using lineage to prove that they are truly Wiccan Elders and the greatest occult authorities ever beats out President Donald Trump! Who would have guessed it? No one saw that one coming. Stand tall dubious occult leaders, you are still the number one reason that I blog. [Lineage dost not make an Elder]